We Bought a Unit
by Strawbeariiis
Summary: A creator gets hold of a weird manufacturer's number, and now her character decides to do some meddling. Dedicated to the ultimate Fubuki Shirou fan, Shiranai Atsune!


Inspired by RandomGirl777 – chan's (calling her chan because I find her so cute [plus she's younger *repeatedly stabbed by arrow that says oldie*]!) User Guide and Manual series and because I love Shiranai Atsune – sempai so much!

Disclaimer: HAHAHAHAHA I sorely wish!

* * *

**We Bought a Unit**

_Oh no._

Suishou Yusaburu looked at the life-sized box presented in front of her by her creator, Shiranai Atsune. "What is this?"

"A Fubuki Shirou unit!" The excited fangirl grinned at her creation. From her enclosed fist appeared a box cutter. Yusaburu nervously glanced back at her owner. The latter had a crazed look in her face, not just her eyes. Sure, her eyes were glinting manically in the daylight, but that grin sent shivers down the Ice Queen's spine.

"Shiranai-san," Maybe this wasn't such a good idea… "We should just return this—"

_RIIIIIP!_

Oh, Yusaburu-san. You always had the best timing. Note the sarcasm.

When the Styrofoam explosion finally cleared out the blackette's vision, she saw a life-sized Fubuki Shirou sprawled lifelessly on top of her eerily silent creator. "Shiranai-san?"

"Quick!" She heard an excited squeak reverberating under the unit, "Grab the manual!"

"But it's a life-sized Baby Alive," Yusaburu whined. Who in the Inazumaverse would ever read a manual? "Except much hotter, taller, attractive and probably more interactive." But Shiranai wouldn't have it. Not moving from her spot on the floor – well, Fubuki may be muscular but these muscles were heavy! – Shiranai Atsune continued to bark the same order at her confused OC.

Yusaburu blinked at her owner, momentarily puzzled about her fussing, then she sighed. Might as well get the manual. "Where'd you get this piece of hot junk anyway?"

"I managed to get a hold of the Star*Girls' number after pestering the Kazemaru fanclub!"

Yusaburu sweatdropped. How weird of her creator.

_**WARNING!**_ Screamed the manual's front page, _PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE THIS MANUAL! YOU MAY DIE DUE TO NOT KNOWING HOW TO CONTROL YOUR FUBUKI SHIROU UNIT! SO DO NOT BE LAZY AND READ THIS MANUAL!_ Shiranai Atsune's OC was at a loss for words.

"As much as I like getting this close to Fubuki," Called out Shiranai from the floor, "I don't want to die not even being able to awaken this unit!" Oh, jeez, sempai, get a hold of yourself— no not, Fubuki…okay, well, I tried to help.

But Yusaburu refused to utter a word. She was turning red all the way to her toes.

"Yusaburu~" Shiranai called out. If Fubuki's sleeping face wasn't this cute and innocent she would've exploded at her character then and there. "How to Awaken Your Unit, please~"

From a little above Fubuki's shoulder, Shiranai could see her creation's still figure. "Yusa-chan?"

"…Why does he have a Perverted mode?"

"It's locked, isn't it? It's not like he'll jump you when he wakes up!"

"I—"

"Oh, but it would be nice if he did that to me!" Shiranai giggled maliciously. She stopped when her OC gave her a look with twitching eyes. "Carry on, carry on," She mused with red cheeks.

"Shiranai-san, are you a tsundere?"

"Heavens, no!"

Yusaburu snorted. "Well, okay then, just tell him nicely to wake up."

Shiranai did as she was told. She practically sang when she tried to awaken the sleeping unit. "Fubuki-sama," She repeated. Yusaburu held out the manual again. "It says here that he goes by Fubuki-kun, Shirou-kun, Fubuki-san, Fubuki-senpai, Shirou-san, or Shirou-senpai."

"Wake up, Fubuki-kun," Shiranai nudged him softly to no avail. Her blue-eyed companion made a raspberry sound. "Tsundere-sama?" Shiranai rolled her eyes.

"WAKE UP, FUBUKI-KUN!" …It was super effective!

The unit awoke with a start, his eyes slowly opening and readjusting to the surroundings. "W-Where…?"

"On the ground," A voice offered under him. Fubuki looked down. Staring giddily back at him was Shiranai Atsune. The unit blushed lightly. "My apologies, pretty lady," He smiled with his eyes closed as he bowed as nicely as possible while on the ground. His forehead ended up touching Shiranai's.

"Oh my good God almighty thank you." The fangirl managed to squeak before a bloody volcano erupted from her nose.

Yusaburu introduced her palm to her face quite forcefully. What an embarrassing pervert woman. "Well, Fubuki-kun, how are you feeling?"

The unit stood up and brushed his casual clothes. "Quite hungry," He smiled a gentle smile at the surprised Yusaburu. "But first I shall clean up after your friend's pool of blood. It's going to stain my clothes."

Yusaburu nodded hastily, trying to regain her composure. "Y-yeah, I'll go cook something."

As soon as the unit left to look for a mop and rags, Yusaburu nudged her owner with her foot. "Oi, roadkill-sama," The Ice Queen tilted her head. "No one dies from nasal blood loss. Come on, let's get you cleaned."

* * *

"Thank you for the meal!" The Fubuki unit smiled pleasantly again at the two girls. Yusaburu, still keeping the manual (who knew it was one of those rare useful ones), glanced at it as Shiranai cleaned up with Fubuki. The unit seemed to be either too nice or flirty to her owner, judging by her giggle fits and rosy cheeks. _'Well he was pretty much asleep during the whole delivery, he cleaned up after tsundere-sama, and he finished eating…'_ Yusaburu put the manual down again. "What now?"

_Mean mode,_ the manual was beginning to be not just useful, but highly interesting. _Is locked for a reason. He will tease you, bully you, and do mean stuff to you._ The blackette rolled her eyes. Thanks, Sherlock. _Though, this will unlock if someone is bullying him 24/7. _But that wasn't what caught her eye. _**IF YOU'RE A TSUNDERE THEN GOOD LUCK.**_

The Ice Queen smiled deviously to herself.

* * *

Time skip: one week later

"For the last time, you were supposed to let go of your wrong idea of perfection!" Shiranai screamed at the unit. Yes, the Ice Queen had successfully bullied the poor unit, literally almost 24/7. "You wouldn't know that," The Prince of Snow was ever so cold, "You weren't in the series. You were just one of those…fans."

Shiranai gasped. She was unaware of what her creation had done.

The doorbell rang, breaking the tension between the creator and the unit. "I'll get it~!" Yusaburu sang as she hurried to the door. As soon as Fubuki and Shiranai arrived from the kitchen, a new mode was unlocked.

Yusaburu's visitors were all the boys who had ever taken interest in Shiranai.

"Eh?" The creator was shocked as she felt something grab her hand. It was the unit's own. "Fubuki-kun?" Typical tsundere, sempai. At the sight of the newly unlocked mode, Yusaburu and Fubuki both wore smiles of differing reasons. "Okay, you've done your job, bye!" She sang as she slammed the door in front of Shiranai's man army's face. "Yusa!" The creator gasped. "Shiranai!" Her unit interrupted her.

He dragged her all the way to the living room, with Yusaburu closely watching. "You're mine, got that?" He was back to his Mean mode, but there was still Possessive embedded in it. Yusaburu grinned to herself. For her next step, she'll need the Fubuki Atsuya mode.

_You will know when your unit is like this when his Atsuya mode is on. He would come up to you and…yeah…Good luck ^^'_

Now what exactly can Pervert mode unlock?

Other than a bunch of belts and zippers, of course.

* * *

The Galourmore captain launched attack after attack at the Fubuki unit at the soccer field that day. "Oi, Atsuya!" She taunted repeatedly. "Come out of your shell, Atsuya!" So her creator wouldn't find out what she was trying to do, Yusaburu went to desperate lengths to keep the manual away from her.

The unit came to an abrupt stop.

Yusaburu followed suit, her breath ragged and heavy from running and shouting at the same time. She continued to study the still Fubuki as Shiranai fangirled in the background. What? A girl couldn't squeal as she debated on who would be the better kisser between her and her creation with Fubuki to judge? Shame on you.

"That's it for practice," Yusaburu grinned as she saw a glint in Fubuki's eyes. As she approached the unit to tap him in the shoulder as a friendly gesture, she whispered to him something Shiranai failed to hear. "Atsuya."

* * *

"Yusa-chan,"

"…"

"Yusa-chan…"

"…"

"For ikemen's sake, Yusa!" Shiranai squealed.

"What—" Yusaburu turned her head to her creator's direction, but stopped halfway through. "Huh," She smirked at her flustered maker. "Who knew he read the Kama Sutra?"

"Not funny! How do you lock this mode?"

"What do you mean, not funny? Didn't you say it would be nice if he jumped you?"

"MANUAL!" Oh, tsundere-sempai…

After grinning and taking snapshots of the sight for a half hour, the Ice Queen retrieved the discarded manual and scanned through the Q&A page. She glanced back at Shiranai and the Pervert mode Fubuki, and back on to the manual. "Well it says here that the makers don't know what to do. But they do wish you good luck."

"Ha?" Atsuya turned to a startled Yusaburu. He looked slightly offended. "Who needs good luck when I'm great in bed?"

And thus the Pervert mode was reset as the default mode. Good job, Yusaburu! No, I'm not being sarcastic!

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Where's the crack genre when you need one, huh? xD Please review! And yes, I do accept flames! Requests, totally! But in exchange I might ask some questions. :))

-Strawbeariiis


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